Fight against Domestic Abuse: Flee when you see red flags

Fight against Domestic Abuse: Flee when you see red flags

Olamide Omujuwa Alli a 25- year old woman has been murdered by her partner, Chris Ndukwe in Nigeria.

Her friends testified to repeated incidences of abuse from her partner, but she kept getting back with him because of ‘love’.

Chris gruesomely murdered Olamide over a squabble that arose concerning the paternity of their last child. They had been in this cyclical pattern of break up/make up for 7years. Olamide had seen the red flags all through these years but deliberately ignored them to her fatal demise.

In preparation for their upcoming wedding in August, a source said he called a Master of Ceremony (MC) to notify him that he would handle the event. It was that same evening the murder took place.

He had premeditated his murder act, created a convenient environment by playing very loud music so that no one will hear or suspect anything of that sort was taking place. He first tied her up, used a plier to cut her dread, stabbed her on the head and on her eyes 11 times. After committing such an evil act, he killed himself too. Just in the twinkle of an eye, their innocent children have become orphans.

Olamide even founded an organization that enlightened young girls about abusive relationships based on her personal experience. Unfortunately, this was not enough to make her flee for her life. She probably thought her partner will change but unfortunately that was never the case.

No woman should remain in a toxic and abusive with a psychopath and narcissist for whatever reason. Emotions should not cloud reason and judgment especially when violence is concerned. Once beaten twice shy, but some women tend to ignore the validity of this statement. Once you notice the warning signs, let it go and flee for good. You may just be hastening your death by returning to your abuser.

Is a loved one or anyone around you going through domestic abuse and does not know the way out? Please do not give up, We can help. Contact us immediately through any of the links below.

Kindly email us at: hope@hope4abusedbattered.com
Visit our website www.hope4abusedbattered.com
Give us a call/WhatsApp # +237672576011

#hopefortheabusedbattered
#weareinthistogether
#thereishope
#redflagsmeanflee
#lifeispriceless
#alllivesmatter

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Thank you all frontline workers from one of your sons

Nathan shares a soulful gratitude tube to his mum and all frontliners. Thank you for thanking us all and the frontliners in particular. You know your moral support to mummy also gives her the motivation to get going every day. Kindly like, share and why not subscribe to show some love. #thankyouallfrontliners

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It Is Time To Amplify Our Voices Against Mental Health Challenges

Our fouder as a certified Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, a staunch mental health advocate and regional representative Africa for the Global Mental Health Peer Network will be joining in a series of Global conversations about mental health in the weeks ahead.

Do you or anyone you know is struggling with your mental health and need help to process all your emotions, actions and reactions in the face of it all?

If yes, do not suffer in silence

Kindly email us at hope@hope4abusedbattered.com

visit our website www.hope4abusedbattered.com

Give us a call/WhatsApp # +237672576011 and

Support us by mobile money – account name is Hope for the Abused and Battered.

We are also on PayPal with the address hope4ab18@gmail.com

Thank you very much

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NO JUSTIFICATION FOR MURDER

Murder has recently been part of societal discourse with women and ladies as main targets. One will wonder what crime some women created just to be women.

Shocking news hit the Buea neighbourhood with a murder case due to a thwarted relationship. Alain Tondji known to be a barber murdered his girlfriend Franca, a final year Law student from the University of Buea (UB) for cheating allegations.

Alain was angry that his girlfriend whom they have dated for over 3 years left him after benefiting from financial support throughout her university studies. He brutally stabbed the lady with a knife who died on the spot. He equally stabbed himself but survived after surgical intervention.

Franca is a native of Fontem, raised by her widow mother for the past 5 years. She was the 4th of her 5 children. The allegations blackmailing Franca as a run-away girl who exploited the financial resources of Alain is not true. Her mother has been paying her fees while in the university.

Alain claimed to have sponsored Franca and was hoping they will get married. As life made it, Franca had another suitor who proposed marriage and she accepted. She went to visit Alain in Longstreet Buea for closure and they got into a fight which resulted to stabbing. Alain was full of jealousy and could not accept that Franca had decided to move on. Most people who go through emotional trauma due to breakup may have temporary difficulty coping, but with time and good self-care, they eventually get better.

It is also alleged that Alain had anger management problems which made him violent at times. He had even reported to some people about his inability to let Franca go. Could one therefore say that his action was premeditated? Was stabbing the solution to their problem? This and many more questions will remain unanswered and cannot bring Franca back to life. The fatal deed has already been done and we can only pray for the peaceful repose of her soul and strength for the family left behind.

Nothing justifies Alain’s actions for going to the extent of stabbing Franca. Murder in any form is wrong and does not warrant any form of justification whatsoever. No amount of financial assistance is worth putting the life of another at risk. Imagine the level of trauma and pain Franca’s family will suffer due to the sudden and devastating death of their child.

Is a loved one or anyone around you going through post breakup trauma land does not know to handle it? Please do not give up, We can help. Contact us immediately through any of the links below.

Kindly email us at: hope@hope4abusedbattered.com
Visit our website www.hope4abusedbattered.com
Give us a call/WhatsApp # +237672576011

#hopefortheabusedbattered
#weareinthistogether
#thereishope
#nojustificationformurder
#lifeispriceless
#alllivesmatter

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Mental Health Matters Open Day: HAF Founder/promoter delivers a moving presentation

We organized the first mental health matters open day in the city of Douala Cameroon on the 11th of June 2020. During the event, the founder and promoter of the Hope Alive Foundation a partner of ours gave a moving and thought provoking presentation. We have a civil crisis in our country since 2016 and hundred of thousands have been internally displaced as a result.

Watch his presentation and do not give up hope on yourself in spite of any challenges you may be going through.

If you want to reach out to us, to share your experience/feedback, or encourage us in our work

Kindly email us at hope@hope4abusedbattered.com
visit our website www.hope4abusedbattered.com
Give us a call/WhatsApp # +237672576011 and
Support us by mobile money – account name is J for the Abused and Battered.

We are also on PayPal with the address hope4ab18@gmail.com

#hopefortheabusedbattered
#mentalhealthmattersopenday
#AAFprojectforIDPsDouala
#shareyourexperiences
#teamhope
#showsomelove
#thereishope

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Mental Health Matters Open Day: The Founder/CEO GMHPN sends in a message of HOPE

We recently organized our first Mental Health Matters Open Day in the city of Douala, Cameroon and Ms Charlene Sunkel the founder and CEO of the Global Mental Health Peer Network (GMHPN) shared a message of hope with us during the first mental health matters open day we organized.

In her message, she talked briefly about her diagnosis with Schizophrenia and how she has moved on to live a productive life. She equally talks about the GMHPN, its objectives and the advantages of joining a peer network like ours.

Our founder who was the 1st Executive from Cameroon, was recently voted in regional representative Africa by all the peers in the executive committee.

Watch and be inspired to not give up on yourself or your challenges.
Thank you very much

If you or anyone you know would love to reach out to us, below are some ways:

Kindly email us at hope@hope4abusedbattered.com
visit our website www.hope4abusedbattered.com
Give us a call/WhatsApp # +237672576011 and
Support us by mobile money – account name is Hope for the Abused and Battered.

We are also on PayPal with the address hope4ab18@gmail.com

#hopefortheabusedbattered
#mentalhealthmattersopenday
#teamhope
#showsomelove
#thereishope

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Internally displaced persons (IDPs) share their challenges

We organized the first mental health matters open day in the city of Douala Cameroon on the 11th of June 2020. During the event, participants shared their experiences with traumatic experiences in their lives. Our focus was equally on vulnerable people like internally displaced persons. We have a civil crisis in our country since 2016 and hundred of thousands have been internally displaced as a result.

If you want to reach out to us, to share your experience/feedback, or encourage us in our work

Kindly email us at hope@hope4abusedbattered.com
visit our website www.hope4abusedbattered.com
Give us a call/WhatsApp # +237672576011 and
Support us by mobile money – account name is Hope for the Abused and Battered.

We are also on PayPal with the address hope4ab18@gmail.com

#hopefortheabusedbattered
#mentalhealthmattersopenday
#AAFprojectforIDPsDouala
#shareyourexperiences
#teamhope
#showsomelove
#thereishope

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Mental Health Matters Open Day: A message of HOPE

We recently organized our first Mental Health Matters Open Day in the city of Douala, Cameroon and the founder of the GBM Foundation for epilepsy and mental wellbeing (Ms Bibiana Mbuh Taku) honoured our invitation. She spoke to the participants present in that capacity and in her personal capacity, sharing her experiences with different challenges in life and how one word has kept her going…HOPE.

Watch and be inspired to not give up on yourself or your challenges.
Thank you very much

If you or anyone you know would love to reach out to us, below are some ways:

Kindly email us at hope@hope4abusedbattered.comj
visit our website www.hope4abusedbattered.com
Give us a call/WhatsApp # +237672576011 and
Support us by mobile money – account name is Hope for the Abused and Battered.

We are also on PayPal with the address hope4ab18@gmail.com

#hopefortheabusedbattered
#mentalhealthmattersopenday
#teamhope
#showsomelove
#thereishope

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Suicide Prevention

According to the American Psychiatric Association Men are more than three times more likely than women to take their lives. Firearms are the most common method of suicide (used in about half of all suicides).

But, suicide is preventable if we consider the risk factors and and pay attention to the warning signs.

Suicide has a direct connection with mental health disorder meaning people who are depressed or who are alcoholic stand a chance of considering suicide and the biggest sign of them all is someone with a history of attempted suicide

The Suicide Prevention Resource Center defines the following

Risk factors: which are characteristics that make it more likely that an individual will consider, attempt or die by suicide.
With an example being the case of Chris Takam the Cameroonian in Ohio USa, who murdered his wife and then committed suicide. He frequently made the following kind of post:
“Real life lesson
Never let anybody play you. When that happens,
everybody will tell you <don’t worry, God will
make them pay>. Don’t listen to that BS. Nobody
has ever come back from death to tell us how it
works on the other side. If someone plays you
here, make them pay here and now. I don’t believe
in life beyond death. We live only once Period”.
So from all indications there
If at any point people payed attention to the posts he made since 2018 and tried to help him, there would have been a higher chance that Chris Takam would have reconsidered his idea/plans.

Warning signs: which indicates an immediate risk of suicide.

Protective factors: which are characteristics that make it less likely that individuals will consider, attempt or die by suicide.

Previous suicide attempt(s)
-Losses and other events (for example, the breakup of a relationship or a death, academic failures, legal difficulties, financial difficulties, bullying)
-History of trauma or abuse
-Chronic physical illness, including chronic pain
-Exposure to the suicidal behavior of others
-A history of suicide in the family
-Substance misuse
-Mood disorders (depression, bipolar disorder)
-Access to lethal means (e.g., keeping firearms in the home)

Warning Signs of Suicide
-Dramatic mood changes
-Talking about feeling trapped or being a burden to others
-Often talking or writing about death, dying or suicide
-Making comments about being hopeless, helpless or worthless
-Expressions of having no reason for living; no sense of purpose in life; saying things like “It would be better if I wasn’t here” or “I want out.”
-Increased alcohol and/or drug misuse
-Withdrawal from friends, family and community
-Reckless behavior or more risky activities, seemingly without thinking

Protective Factors
-Effective mental health care; easy access to a variety of clinical interventions
-Strong connections to individuals, family, community and social institutions
-Problem-solving and conflict resolution skills
-Contacts with providers (e.g., follow-up phone call from health care professional)

If someone shows any signs of suicide ideation/suicidal thoughts pay attention to their concern and take it seriously, contrary to what some people think do not leave them alone, do not be afraid to communicate with such people and ask them about their plans above all let them know they are loved by people and that they are not alone to face their struggles, go further to advice them to seek professional help.

Below are some of the tips provided by Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that you can use if you are worried about a possible case from a loved one:

-Ask someone you are worried about if they’re thinking about suicide. (While –People may be hesitant to ask, research shows this is helpful.)
-Keep them safe. Reduce access to lethal means for those at risk.
-Be there with them. Listen to what they need.
-Help them connect with ongoing support.
-Stay connected. Follow up to see how they’re doing

Is a loved one or anyone around you showing signs of suicide ideation/suicidal thoughts or have you ever nursed the idea of committing suicide? Please do not give up, We can help. Contact us immediately through any of the links below.

Kindly email us at: hope@hope4abusedbattered.com
Visit our website www.hope4abusedbattered.com
Give us a call/WhatsApp # +237672576011

#hopefortheabusedbattered
#weareinthistogether
#thereishope
#suicideprevention
#lifeisprecious
#notosuicide

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Suicide Awareness


The word ‘suicide’ was first introduced in the 17th Century, said to be derived from the Latin words ‘sui (of oneself) and ‘caedere (to kill). Suicide is the act of killing oneself, deliberately initiated and perfomed by the person concerened in full knowledge or expectation of its fatal outcome (WHO, 1998).

According to the Global Health Observatory (GHO), about 800,000 people take their own lives every year which is one person in every 40 seconds. Suicide is a global phenomenon and second leading cause of death among 15 – 29 years old globally; accounting for 1.4% of all deaths worldwide.

Greenland is the most suicidal country in the world, India the highest contributor in the South East Asian Region and Europe the most suidal region. In Africa, Lesotho (South Africa) has the highest rate at 28.9% per 100,000 people for the overall population. Cameroon is the fifth highest with 19.5% per 100,000 people. Men had the highest figure, at 26.9 deaths per 100, 000 while women had a far lower figure, at 12.5 deaths per 100,000 people (https://face2faceafrica.com).With the above figures which are skyroketing globally, there is need to increase awareness about suicidal thoughts and behaviour.

Warning suicidal signs ranges from talking about wanting to die or kill oneself, looking for a suicidal means, too little or excessive sleep, feeling hopeless and depressed, acting reckless, agitated, angered or anxious, withdrawal or feeling isolated, displaying extreme mood swings, seeking revenge at all cost or showing rage, increasing use of alcohol or drugs etc.

Some risk factors that may cause an individual consider, attempt or die by suicide could be gaslighting, mental disorders particularly mood and anxiety disorders, schizophrenia, lack of health care especially substance abuse, phsychological or emotional trauma, chronic physical illnesses, death of a loved one, job loss, financial crises, stigma, stress, family history of suicide and previous suicide attempt. A recent case of suicide occured this June 2020 in the US where a man is said to have killed his wife and also committed suicide. It is allerged that the man brought the woman as wife to the said country. He invested so much on her and committed suicide when she filled in for and was granted divorce. On the other hand, the woman is said to have suffered from abuse in the hands of her husband which ignited the divorce.

Suicidal behaviour and preferred suicide method varies between countries. For example, hanging is the preferred method of suicide in Eastern Europe, poisoning by drugs common in both Nordic countries and the United Kingdom. However, suicidal methods cut across firearms, drowning/submersion, suffocation/hanging, poison by gas, jumping from a high place, drug/poison ingestion and stabbing etc.

That notwithstanding, no matter the motive spearheading suicide, it should be avoided at all cost.

Do you know anyone harbouring suicidal thoughts, or have you ever attempted suicide? Please do not give up, there is help. Do not hesitate to contact us through any of the links below.

Kindly email us at: hope@hope4abusedbattered.com
Visit our website www.hope4abusedbattered.com
Give us a call/WhatsApp # +237672576011

#hopefortheabusedbattered
#weareinthistogether
#thereishope
#suicideawareness
#lifeisprecious
#notosuicide

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